Embracing The Suck

The Power in Dismantling Toxic Positivity

Picture this — I am in my car; it’s a Monday… the week has been long (HA!). I have my head on the steering wheel while “Sugar, We’re Goin Down” by Fall Out Boy plays and supports my head nods back and forth. The dog is sitting “shotgun” with a face that can only be expressed by a “get your shit together Karen” meme that floats around Facebook. Sh$t is real… but the moment is comforting.

That’s the only way we can explain it, huh? — Life. The moments where defeat feels constant and strength feels like the margarita drink from that restaurant down the street… weak, half poured, and something you’re all too used to experiencing. Yet similar to our “oh so beloved” margarita — we are expected to swallow it up, pay it forward, and heck — enjoy the experience of being out.

…I don’t know if you have caught on yet — but we aren’t buying this sh$t. The margarita — or the push for embracing a world, people, places, and experiences that are not meant for us.

Life is difficult. It is challenging. It will test you — push you, and it will change you. We know this. Yet, we are taught that challenges are accompanied by a beautiful smile with a big deep breath that expresses “everything is great’’. It’s partnered with “things could be worse” or “you’ll be fine” — oh wait, what about “C’Mon, it’s all centered around your mindset.” We love that one. Life’s obstacles are united with a notion that there needs to be a positive anecdote or “front” put on. That vulnerability, honesty, and human emotion is a threat to our character, reputation, and potential future successes.

This, my friends, is what we call toxic positivity. It disapproves of emotions, it holds expectations that drive us to places that are less productive than where we began, and it propels us to question our values and emotions. It’s what leaves us in a car on a Monday, wondering how we got to this place and whoever let Monday be the first day of the week. Nevertheless, telling ourselves the same toxic “fairy tales’’ that have been embedded into us by society — pull it together.

We are here to free ourselves of this.

Before diving too far down this “rabbit hole,” — let’s get one thing clear, having a positive mindset and outlook on life is essential and…